APPLES AND ORANGES. Although the number of Canadian bankruptcies in January 1991 had risen sharply from the corresponding figure in the previous year, the federal bankruptcy superintendent cautioned that because of the different economic circumstances for each period, any attempt to relate the two statistics would be comparing apples and oranges. This tiresome expression is grammatically meaningless, for it lacks completeness until at least one other thing is placed opposite the two types of fruit. If apples and oranges are to be chosen as objects of comparison, they cannot be joined by and, for the linkage must be either to or with. To compare to means to liken one thing to another; to compare with means to describe the ways in which two things differ from and are similar to each other. IN CONCERT. In February it was reported that Ford Motor Co. of Canada, "In concert with a moribund North American auto market," had suspended the payment of the company`s regular dividend. Since in concert with means unison or agreement, the announcement appeared to say that the auto market had risen from its deathbed to join the car manufacturer in deferring payments to shareholders. The phrase clearly had no place in the reference to Ford Canada`s financial predicament; it should have been replaced by Because of. COULDN`T CARE LESS. This is one of those worn-out remarks that have lost through overuse what little claim to cleverness or humour they may once have possessed. It became popular soon after the Second World War, to indicate the speaker`s indifference or lack of interest. David Edgar, the scriptwriter of the otherwise enjoyable 1985 film Lady Jane, set in England`s Tudor period, evidently found the phrase so attractive that he put it into the mouth of the heroine`s husband. Such misapplication of contemporary dialogue in historical fiction is not at all uncommon, but even worse is the alteration of an original expression in a way that renders it contradictory or absurd. One recent example is a newspaper assertion that the Texas HighSpeed Rail Authority could care less about the technology offered by the Canadian and other competitors who were bidding on a prospective contract, for its only technical requirement was for trains that ran safely and fast. This unwarranted shift from a negative to a positive form leads only to the conclusion that the authority still cared about some of the contract`s technical specifications. DE RIGUEUR. In their joint forecast of what new financial burdens the federal budget would impose, two reporters for the Financial Post speculated that it could "contain the now de rigeur increases in excise taxes on gasoline, tobacco and alcohol!" Even when it is spelled correctly, de rigueur means in accordance with strict etiquette, or prescribed by custom. Since the expression implies an obligation to behave in a certain way, was the minister of finance guilty of improper conduct for increasing taxes on cigarettes only, while retaining the levies on gasoline and alcohol at their existing rates? Most purchasers of those liquid commodities no doubt heaved sighs of relief, not rocks, upon hearing about their reprieve. Tax increases may be almost inevitable; they are never de rigueur. On the other hand, by Canadian parliamentary tradition, it is considered de rigueur for the minister who introduces a budget to wear new shoes for the occasion. DOWN THE DRAIN. According to a correspondent for the British Financial Times, Kuwait`s rulers saw the restoration of their country`s water, electricity, and sewage as a postwar priority. Since sewage includes liquid refuse and other waste material, the hostile damage to Kuwait`s sanitary disposal services should have ensured an abundance of those effluents. The correct word in this instance was sewerage, meaning a system of pipes and treatment facilities by which the raw discharge is carried away and processed. Sewerage as a synonym for sewage is accepted by many modern dictionaries, but the reverse is no longer true, and sewage should not now be used in place of sewerage. ON TENTERHOOKS. A Canadian engineering consultant, hopeful of securing business opportunities in postwar Kuwait, was quoted as saying that until the hostilities were over everyone would be "walking a bit on tenterhooks." A tenter is a frame on which cloth is stretched to allow it to dry evenly and without shrinking. The material is fastened to the frame`s upper and lower bars by means of hooks or bent nails. To be on tenterhooks, in a figurative sense, means to experience painful suspense or impatient uncertainty. It suggests a motionless, not an ambulatory; condition, even supposing the arrangement of spikes lends itself to pedestrian agility. If, however, the consultant really meant to indicate that he and his colleagues were taking a cautious approach until such time as the fighting ended, then "walking on tiptoe` might have more accurately described their movements.